True Facts About Grant Anthony O’Brien

True Facts About Grant Anthony O’Brien

(logo whirring) (upbeat music) (logo chiming) – [Announcer] From West
Hollywood, California. The only news team that doesn’t know what’s on the teleprompter
before they read it. Anyone who laughs or breaks loses points. This is “Breaking News.”
(dramatic music) – Good evening and
welcome to “Breaking News” the show where we don’t know
what we’re about to say, and we’re not allowed to smile or laugh. My name’s Dom Thompson, but
instead of the letter O, I use pictures of donuts. – And I’m Grant Anthony O’Brien, and that’s my actual first,
middle, and last name. – Tonight, we’re starting
off with a new segment called True Facts About
Grant, that are not jokes, that are just true actual facts about this gangly asshole. – Great! Good! I want this to happen. – Oh yeah! Do you like that, bitch? – Yes I do. I really do. Please give doggy boy his treat. – Yeah? Does the sweet little toilet pig want his yummy yummy crap? – Yes, mistress. – Well, he’s gonna good
and goddamn get it. Right off the bat, Grant
caught syphilis in January of this year. Isn’t that right, you rat fuck? – That’s true. It’s the disease that killed Al Capone, and I’ve had it twice because I like to Al Ca-Bone. – Oh no! Fascinating! Have you had any other STD’s? – Yes. All of them, except the big one. – Wow! – And herpes! I haven’t had herpes. – But– – But so you know, I consider the big one to be acne. Now, here to show a naked photo of me, it’s field reporter (bleep). – Thanks. Yes, I’m (bleep), which is the actual name of one of Grant’s childhood friends, except I also spell it with donuts instead of the letter “O”. Anyhow, before I show
the naked photo of Grant, I just want to make sure
I have his permission. Grant? – Yes, you have my permission. I want you to show it. – Yeah you do, bitch! – That’s me! – Oop! – But that’s fine. I’ll do the next one
which is the same line. Yeah, you big bitch! – I’m a big, rectangular bitch, who likes it when mommy
makes him eat trash. – Okay, well here it is. – Oh no! Oh no. Oh no. – Thanks (bleep). Compelling stuff. – Oh, one more thing real quick, Dom. I just wanted to say that Grant looks like if a cartoon undertaker was cosplaying as Rivers Cuomo. – Okay, moving on to more of the exact same thing. Here’s a copy of Grant’s head shot from 2007, which is somehow more embarrassing than that naked photo we just saw. – Oh my God. – Damn, this is savage. – I don’t feel comfortable. This is mean. – That’s not the one I used though. That was one of the proofs. That was one of the proofs. – What? No. – That wasn’t the one I used. That wasn’t the one I used. That was one of the proofs. – Is that Slenderman? – Did you get a haircut
seconds before showing up to get this headshot? – I did! I thought that’s how I’d
keep my hair forever, ’cause I liked the way it looked. – Did you say get me at my worst angles? – Gang, if you gotta, if you’re getting photos taken, you gotta get the haircut a couple weeks before, don’t. – That one’s for dramatic roles. We go now to a way too– – Make my face as angular as you want. – No. Oh no. We go now to a way-too-big acting choice I made 12 years ago. Oh no. No no no. – [Blurred Man] Don’t be gay
that’s the one I sleep on. – [Young Grant] Come on. – [Blurred Man] Okay. – [Young Grant] You just sort of… – No no no no no no no no no. – [Blurred Man] Like that? – [Young Grant] No, like this. – No no no no no no no no no. Oh no! – [Young Grant] What was that? – [Blurred Man] Just my cat. – [Young Grant] Oh, good. – Holy shit. Now here with another
true story is another field reporter named after someone from Grant’s past. – No no no no no!
– Hi Dom, my name’s (bleep) and Grant knows exactly who this, who that is and exactly what he did. – Oh no no no no no.
– In place of my O’s, I don’t use donuts, I use bagels with frosting. – Is that a reference to something? – That’s a donut (bleep). No no no. – Quiet, pig boy! Anyhow, in 2013 Grant was living in Williamsburg at 525 Union Ave Apartment 4C – I know a guy named Brandon Lee Mulligan who lived in that same building. – Wow. – That’s right (laughs) Brandon Lee Mulligan might have lived in this apartment building. – I, well I’m Dom Thompson with two donuts, but this Brandon
– Sure. did live in this same building. – Brandon lived in this
same apartment building. – Then maybe you’re familiar with this. He’d recently purchased a large, dark green suction cup dildo. Something he bought because he wanted to become better at (laugher obscures) One morning he was using it on himself in a bathroom he shared with three other people he lived with. He was was showering and using the dildo to gradually loosen and open
up his sphincter muscles. – Consider it. – Once he was finished he took the dildo and using its added suction cup feature he stuck it to the wall of the shower. He then finished showering
and went to work. Leaving the large, dark green dildo stuck to the wall. It remained there until
one of the roommates (bleep) went into the
shower, saw the dildo wobbling on the wall, screamed and then inexplicably continued to live with Grant for another two years. Did I miss anything, Grant? – No. Just like that (laughs) Just that now I bottom
like a good little sub and anyone out there
wanting to get a better wanting to get better
at taking a large hog should invest in a similar
type of anal training tool. – This has been the
longest shoot of my life. – I’m sweating so much. I’m sweating so much. – I’ve never heard Grant say no so much. – Oh God. Oh no. Oh no! – How could you leave it? – I… I had just come – [Dom With Two Donuts] That’s fair. – I was in a state! I was all, you know! – I appreciate– – Was the dildo… Was it, I know this is crazy, it’s, obviously the answer is no. But I want to ask, was the dildo cleaned or sanitized in any way? Or did you just hop out of the shower? – I sprayed it off! – Oh. – Sprayed it off. – Remembered to spray it off but not to take it off the wall? – Did you have a detachable shower head? – Yeah. – Okay. – Well, no. I could angle it, I angled it. – Oh no! – You gotta soap it. You gotta soap it, water’s not enough. – Thank God that’s it for us here at Breaking News. Special thanks to this
week’s loser in more ways than one Mr. Grant Anthony O’Brien. thanks for watching. I’m never going to recover. – I’ll never shower again – I… – I live with regret. – And it’s not the dildo
stuff, it’s the acting stuff. The dildo stuff I actually am fine with, the acting stuff is unforgivable. – Oh, that was in a sketch comedy group I was in right out of college. – I want to be clear, Grant has a lot to answer for those acting choices. Also, I know this guy
didn’t ask for it but whoever shot that, let’s get some more headroom on Grant O’Brien, shall we? Cutting off the hair and the chin? A strong cinemati- cinematographic choice. – Look it was a different
time, we didn’t know. We didn’t know about things like that– – I don’t care who you
are, get either the hair or the chin in there. I know I’m roasting
someone who didn’t sign up for this but, Jesus Christ! – It really, it didn’t go well
– What’s the point? – It didn’t go well. That sketch comedy group didn’t go well. – Really? – Huh Shocking. – Color me surprised. – Uh, we have a couple of good sketches. – Ripping his ass. – Thanks for watching. No one could be surprised at this outcome. – It has got to be over. I just have to have this episode be over with very quickly. Are we done? Is that that? Hi. I still don’t know what
I’m about to say because I’m a big stupid idiot. If you like that video, you can go to hell and then you can go to
https://www.dropout.TV to start your free trial today. For every episode of
Breaking News that’s here there’s another episode only
available on https://dropout.TV Until next time, I’m Grant
O’Brien which is Irish for Grant of Brien.

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About Nicklaus Predovic

100 thoughts on “True Facts About Grant Anthony O’Brien

  1. hey gang – an important message from Sam about what's happening and what the future holds for CollegeHumor and Dropout and Dorkly and Drawfee:
    if you'd like to continue supporting us, sign up for Dropout! (just launched a new season of Dimension 20 featuring the McElroys, you'll dig it)

    Just so you know, this video was filmed and scheduled a long time ago – feels weirdly appropriate it posted this week!

  2. What was actually going on with the scene with the pillows? Maybe I'm showing my naievete, but I didn't understand what was being demonstrated. Though maybe ignorance is bliss.

  3. Grant, no need to show up for job interviews now, just send them this link and get ready for the job offers to cone streaming in!

  4. I feel like they really missed the mark here. They let Grant go the other day with other employees and now they put this out? It's like a kick in the teeth. They must have thought oh well we're getting rid of him anyway or something like that. Really disappointed in them.

  5. If someone gonna roast Grant again, pls take a bullet for our poor vers bottom. Im getting 2nd hand embarrassment just from watching this but it was too damn good not to laugh 😂

  6. Hi, I would like to support Dropnout especially dimension 20. When will dropout 2.0 be available? I just need to be able to watch the video without using internet and how possible is it to make dropout available in other countries as well? I am willing to help as much as I can in my power to support college humor and hopefully inspire others to do the same.

  7. How much of this was a character assassination ? I really hope a chunk of the std stuff wasn't true. Props to Grant for taking it like a champ. Guess those shower sessions really helped

  8. This wasn’t funny. I love the silly names in the other shows, but you can see that the others start to look really uncomfortable on Grant’s behalf.

  9. If allie had done this on total forgiveness then they would have one…. Dear god… Who wrote this because grant sure didn't.

  10. Man, I'm still reeling from the loss of Cracked, and you guys drop this bombshell on us? Brennan, Katie, Mike and Grant are some of the the funniest people on this platform. The CEO sketches are something that keep me watching.

  11. I bet the CollegeHumor HR department is gonna have a field day with this

    Unless they've been on vacation for the last 10 years, which would explain a lot

  12. It's only fair they do everyone else's embarrassing moments as well . (But most of all, I want more of these videos with genuine reactions)

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