You would think having
lots of children would keep you
kind of young, tech-savvy,
you would know what is going on,
but, David Tennant,
this has not happened for you.
You recently found out
you’d got left behind
in the world of texting and things.
because now, when you start jobs,
because of the Me Too movement
and lots of, you know,
great strides forward are being made
in making sure workplaces are safe,
so now, different companies have
different ways of coping with that,
and for a show I was doing,
I had to watch a video and prove
I’d watched it from start to finish,
and it takes you through things that
are acceptable and not acceptable
in the workplace, and then,
right at the end of this sequence,
when it’s talking about how to
communicate on your mobile phone and
what’s appropriate and what isn’t,
it says, “And remember,
“the eggplant emoji is
not just an eggplant.”
And that’s it!
And I’m left going,
“What the fuck is an eggplant?!”
It’s an aubergine, right?
But that’s not what they mean.
There’s a whole…
And it turns out…
And I knew nothing about this.
There’s a whole kind of language…
Yes, there is.
..usually based around foodstuffs,
where they represent…
And asking somebody out for a taco
could easily be misinterpreted,
it turns out!
Did YOU know that?
Be careful! Did you know about this?
Yes, of course!
Where have you been?!
I mean, the eggplant doesn’t even
look like an eggplant, it’s…
Then you have the peach,
and if you start adding to that
You can do anything!
Don’t act innocent!
Don’t come here with your, “Ooh!”
It’s a minefield, clearly!
But you text?
Do you have a smartphone?
I do, yes! I have no idea how that
passed you by. That’s weird.
I thought the emojis were just meant
to represent what they represented.
I didn’t know there was this whole
kind of other language
you had to learn!
Can you get explicit emojis?
That’s what we need!
Apple needs to move forward
and just call…
..a vagina a vagina!
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Peering at it – “What IS that?!”
The thing is, there is an image
of you as the Doctor
that fans are not letting go,
and it’s just this,
it’s a very simple thing – it’s
just you in the street doing that.
Now, this meme is called
In Places He Shouldn’t Be.
Right. You must have seen these.
I’ve seen a couple, I think, yes.
Mind you, if you don’t know
what an eggplant emoji is,
the chances of you seeing a meme
is really slim!
Now, obviously, a beginner one
is just, of course,
you’re at the Royal Wedding.
Where else could you be?
Then we’ve got you in education.
You know the answer.
No-one else does!
You are on it!
Then what have we got next?
Oh, ice skating. There you go.
Very good at that!
Then we have you in film.
There you are in The Lion King.
And finally, there you are